Project Umbrella Translation
FAX FROM KENDO GUN SHOP
To the naughty kids of S.T.A.R.S.
My big bro Joe's got some good news for ya. He's finally finished the new standard handgun.
He's calling it the M92F S.T.A.R.S. Special "Samurai Edge." It's the most balanced among all Kendo-made custom guns. As Joe says, "If any SOB misses their mark with a gun this good, they should keep a pacifier in their holster instead."
I'll have the detailed specs attached upon delivery as well. The parts are so good it's hard to believe they're government-issued merchandise. You'll wanna smooch the company who financed it.
Kendo Gun Shop
Robert Kendo
To the naughty kids of S.T.A.R.S.
My big bro Joe's got some good news for ya. He's finally finished the new standard handgun.
He's calling it the M92F S.T.A.R.S. Special "Samurai Edge." It's the most balanced among all Kendo-made custom guns. As Joe says, "If any SOB misses their mark with a gun this good, they should keep a pacifier in their holster instead."
I'll have the detailed specs attached upon delivery as well. The parts are so good it's hard to believe they're government-issued merchandise. You'll wanna smooch the company who financed it.
Kendo Gun Shop
Robert Kendo
Official Japanese Transcript
ケンド銃砲店からのFAX
S.T.A.R.S.のやんちゃ坊主達へ。
兄のジョウからうれしい知らせだ。ついに新制式ハンドガンが完成した。
M92F S.T.A.R.S.スペシャル「サムライエッジ」と名付けたそうだ。数あるケンド製カスタムガンの中でも最高のバランスに仕上がっているぞ。ジョウがいうには「これだけのガンでマトをはずす野郎がいたら、おしゃぶりでもホルスターに入れておけ」とさ。
なお細かい仕様については納入時に添付しておく。官給品とは思えないパーツのよさだ。出資してくれる企業にキスをしてやりたくなるぞ。
ケンド銃砲店 ロバート･ケンド
S.T.A.R.S.のやんちゃ坊主達へ。
兄のジョウからうれしい知らせだ。ついに新制式ハンドガンが完成した。
M92F S.T.A.R.S.スペシャル「サムライエッジ」と名付けたそうだ。数あるケンド製カスタムガンの中でも最高のバランスに仕上がっているぞ。ジョウがいうには「これだけのガンでマトをはずす野郎がいたら、おしゃぶりでもホルスターに入れておけ」とさ。
なお細かい仕様については納入時に添付しておく。官給品とは思えないパーツのよさだ。出資してくれる企業にキスをしてやりたくなるぞ。
ケンド銃砲店 ロバート･ケンド
Official English Transcript
"Due to errors or changes in localization, the following may contain inconsistencies with the official Japanese text."
FAX FROM KENDO GUN SHOP
To the boys of S.T.A.R.S.,
I have some good news for you from my brother Joe. He has finalized the new hand-gun for official use. It is the M92F S.T.A.R.S. Special, but he calls it the "Samurai Edge." It's the most balanced of the Kendo custom guns. Joe said, If you miss the targets with this, you should carry a teething ring instead of a gun in your holster.
The goods will be delivered along with their proper documentation. I'm sure you'll be surprised when you see what kind of excellent parts are used for the M92F. I know that you'll want to thank the good people who developed it.
Sincerely,
Robert Kendo
Kendo Gun Sop
FAX FROM KENDO GUN SHOP
To the boys of S.T.A.R.S.,
I have some good news for you from my brother Joe. He has finalized the new hand-gun for official use. It is the M92F S.T.A.R.S. Special, but he calls it the "Samurai Edge." It's the most balanced of the Kendo custom guns. Joe said, If you miss the targets with this, you should carry a teething ring instead of a gun in your holster.
The goods will be delivered along with their proper documentation. I'm sure you'll be surprised when you see what kind of excellent parts are used for the M92F. I know that you'll want to thank the good people who developed it.
Sincerely,
Robert Kendo
Kendo Gun Sop