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Adam
Adam's Kijuju Photograph B
Adam's Kijuju Photograph D
Adam's Kijuju Photograph A
Adam's Kijuju Photograph C
Adam's Kijuju Photograph E

Adam

Age: 28
Gender: Male
Astrological Sign: Pisces
Zodiac Year: Monkey
Industry: Government
Occupation: Mining Foreman
Location: Kijuju : West Africa
Interests: Women, alcohol, and any game that involves cards

Title

Adam's "Experience Kijuju" Blog

Adam is Back!

Sunday, December 14, 2008 - 2:38 AM

Hey everyone! Sorry I haven't updated my blog in a while. It's not easy hooking up a computer in Kijuju. (That's where I'm working for those of you who haven't been reading!) I finally got a new network connection (Thanks http://kijuju.blogspot.com!) so now I can update you all with my exploits as a "stranger in a strange land."

Work is getting better, or I should say I'm getting used to working here now. I finally got some order in my life. Now I can get back to the things that matter: drinking and women. Or even better, drinking with women!

Just a quick update for now. I'll write more soon.

My Job

Tuesday, December 16, 2008 - 8:07 PM

Everyone keeps asking me, "Adam, what's it like working in Kijuju?" I always tell them that it's like being a garbage man at the beach. The work itself isn't the most glamorous, but the place is great. Well, maybe it's just OK. I work in a mine, and as you can imagine, there aren't many pretty faces to distract you down there! What usually passes the time while I'm at work is trying to predict how my boss is going to screw up. This man's idiocy knows no bounds. He actually told us we could use the waste water for bathing or drinking! Sure, if I wanted my skin to fall off and become some kind of monster, then that's what I would do.

The best part of the job is quitting time, because then me and some of the guys can go get our drink on. As long as I can get that ice-cold beer at the end day, I can put up with anything. (I don't even want to tell you about the riot that ensued the one time we lost power and they only had warm beer for two days straight. That was a living hell.)

Anyway, I found a new bright spot to focus on (and it's not more beer! LOL). I saw a pretty sweet-looking blonde girl today. It's like I've been wandering through a desert for a year and then someone offered me a glass of cold water (or beer!). We got a lot of foreign workers here like me, so I don't know what she does - yet. Hell, I don't even know if she speaks English! (Most do, except for that French guy. I think he does speak English but I can't understand him for the life of me. He just sounds angry all the time.)

I will keep you updated on how things go with this woman. First order of business is finding out who she is. If you have time, don't be shy and leave a comment.

Thinking About Her

Friday, December 19, 2008 - 10:09 AM

Score!
Well, kinda.

I saw that woman I wrote about in my last blog (and shame on you if you didn't read it!) out in the town again. Unfortunately, I was on my way to work and I didn't want to be late since I was already late twice this week. I think it's a good thing not to show up at work with a hangover, so I like to sleep it off. My boss, however, doesn't agree with me. I guess he'd rather have me show up on time and put everyone's lives at risk with my reduced reaction times. I wish we had safety standards here.

But I digress.

Even though I wasn't able to talk to her, I did find out a few things. She didn't grow up here; she came here with her boyfriend who, if the rumors are to be believed, doesn't like to show up regularly for work. I might be late from time to time, but at least I'm there every day. This jerk can't even be bothered to show up! But with drinks being so cheap, I can hardly blame the guy.

I know she has a boyfriend in theory, but if this guy is missing work all the time, he's probably neglecting her as well. It might be time for Sir Adam to save the princess in distress. If anyone's got any ideas for how I might go about this, leave a comment and let me know. Life in Kijuju is looking better every day.

It's Friday, so time for another night of drinking! Maybe I'll run into my mysterious blonde princess...

Something In The Air

Tuesday, December 23, 2008 - 2:00 AM

I saw something pretty disgusting today. I don't know if I can even bring myself to describe it.

I was walking down one of the back streets in Kijuju, and I saw a dead dog lying there. I've seen dead animals here and there before, so that in and of itself wasn't so shocking. (The first time can be a tad unsettling, but it's not like I've never seen road kill back home. I'm trying to keep an open mind here.) This time, however, the dog was missing its entire head! I don't know who or what decapitated it, but whatever took the dog's head off didn't leave it on the ground. It was just not there. Why would someone just want the head of a dog? And did they take it before or after it died/was killed?

I get squeamish around dogs with missing heads, so I circled back and found myself behind the butcher's shop, and what do I find? It's the butcher himself washing off a huge, blood-stained meat cleaver. I don't think he'd kill a dog for no reason, but if he did, then why take just the head and leave the body? He may not even have had anything to do with the dog, but he's not the friendliest person in the neighborhood. He just kind of grunts when I say hi to him. I don't have many dealings with him as a rule of thumb because, let's face it, who wants to buy a dead goat that's been hanging out in the air for three days? A butcher without a freezer. That's what happens with no rules and no health inspectors.

You know, as I type this, I can't help but feel something is different in the air of late. I can't put my finger on it, and I couldn't explain it if you asked me to, but I just know. I think I need a drink.

Merry Christmas!

Thursday, December 25, 2008 - 3:44 AM

Of all the days to show up to work on time! The boss wasn't even there all morning! When he finally came in, I really wished I hadn't come in at all. He said he was taking five of us to another work site, and then he pulled out a scrap of paper and read off their names. I don't know if this was random or someone specifically chose them, but what I do know is that a couple of my drinking buddies were among them. Wonderful. Now who do I go drinking with after work? The new work site is about a half a day's drive from here, so who knows when or if I'll ever see them again. They were good guys. It's not going to be easy to drown my sorrows by myself. I'll do a shot for you guys!

Man, today was probably the best day of my life! I went to one of my favorite watering holes after work, but my heart wasn't into it at first since a couple of my buddies had been transferred out of the mine. I did a few shots in honor of the good times we had together.

I would have sat there all alone for the rest of the night if SHE hadn't walked in. Yes, it was the mysterious blonde I've been writing about in my posts! Since I had a few drinks in me, I decided to let the alcohol do the talking (love that liquid courage!) and asked her if she would join me for a drink. Naturally, she agreed.

She was quiet at first, and I wasn't really sure what I should say to her, but after she ordered a whiskey and water (my type of woman!), she turned chatty and I knew things were going my way. She started telling me all about her life in Kijuju. She's seen some strange things lately, like animals that have been eviscerated or carcasses that look like they had been dragged around by something. She says she's only been in Kijuju for several weeks, but since the beginning of this month it's started to feel like a different place from when she first arrived. She can't explain it, but she said she feels scared at times for no reason at all. If I'm reading her right, I think she was indirectly letting me know she wants to spend more time with me.

I didn't want to look desperate by asking questions, so I just agreed with everything she said. I tried to add to her conversation by describing my experience with the dog the other day, not to mention the butcher who had been acting strangely. I also told her how I've seen trails of blood without any bodies. There's also been an increase of areas with graffiti, as well as strange posters thrown up around the town. (I didn't focus too much on that graffiti part since some of it might have been done by me on one of my wilder nights out.) The place has definitely taken on a different air since I came here all those months ago. It's like the town is changing right under my nose but no one is bothering to let me know it's changing.

I told her not to worry, and most of the things that have happened could be attributed to a wild tiger or something. She seemed to find comfort in my words, so I moved my stool a little closer to hers. That's when she really opened up to me. I don't know if it was because of the alcohol or because she felt comfortable with me, but she started complaining about her boyfriend. (It's always a good sign when a girl complains to you about her boyfriend.) Apparently, he went off to work one day and he hasn't come back since. Everyone keeps telling her he's busy. I don't think work could ever keep me so busy that I'd neglect such an attractive woman as this.

I told her if she needed anything, she could always count on me. She thanked me and smiled before getting up and walking out. I probably should have followed her, but I think I need to play a little hard to get in order to keep her interested.

Like I said, best day of my life!

And the best Christmas gift I've ever had!!

Remember, comments are always appreciated!

P.S. I completely forgot to ask her what her name is! I'm just going to have to wait until next time.

Am I Being Watched?

Friday, January 9, 2009 - 3:00 PM

I finally got some time off, and I was able to spend the New Year's holidays with my family. As many of you have probably experienced, spending holidays with relatives can either be quite enjoyable or excruciatingly maddening. I was looking forward to just sleeping in, eating, and having a few drinks, but if you spend time with my family, the last thing you get to do is relax.

They kept asking me questions about Kijuju, but the more I told them about life here, especially in regards to recent events, the more they started to look worried or angry. I can't understand why. You tell people about a few dead dogs and they think danger is lurking around every corner. My mom was especially worried, and she just shook her head and begged me not to go back to Kijuju. My father was no better, and told me to listen to her before I made her worry anymore. As much as I hate working, Kijuju is the only place that offers work at a decent wage, and because I keep sending money home, my family is able to enjoy a better life than they could normally. Life ain't easy out here in the sticks. There's hardly any work to be had here, and what jobs are available don't even pay half as well as the mine.

I tried to explain that to them, but they wouldn't hear of it. I didn't even get to tell them about the blonde woman. She's another reason why I want to be in Kijuju, but they wouldn't understand that either.

When I came back to Kijuju, part of me started to feel like my family might have been right. The air was oppressive, if not downright stifling. I hurried to the market to buy dinner, but I felt like someone was watching me the entire time. I turned around and I saw the butcher talking to a man with a turban. It didn't look like they were having a friendly chat, but more like they were discussing something grave. All the while they kept casting furtive glances in my direction.

I don't want to jump to conclusions, but the first time I found that dog, the butcher was nearby. If my memory serves correctly, I'm sure I've seen multiple dead animals in the vicinity of his shop. Maybe he's selling dog and cat meat as a delicacy. And you know what? I'm fine with that. If that's how he wants to make his money, then he's welcome to it. But what if it's more than that? What if he's been spraying graffiti and putting up strange posters? What if he's starting a revolution or something? Unfortunately, there's no one I can tell here. Even if there were, they probably wouldn't do anything about it anyway.

I wonder what my girl thinks about this. (I know she's not my girl yet, but she will be!) I also want to know what you think, so please leave a comment.

Tear In My Beer

Friday, January 16, 2009 - 9:17 PM

I'm sorry for not giving you any updates sooner. I've had so much stuff going on in my life lately that I haven't had a chance to post. Remember the blonde girl who was slowly falling in love with me? We're now on a first-name basis, and her name is Allyson. I thought it was awesome that both our names begin with an A!

That's the good news. The bad news is that Kijuju is getting crazier, even borderline dangerous. I met Allyson at our favorite watering hole for a few drinks. I thought things were going well: She was having a double whiskey and I was drinking the mini-barrel of beer. I was enjoying myself (How could I not?) when some guy I've never seen before starts talking really loudly. He was wearing sunglasses, and he kept slamming his beer glass down on the table while he talked. Actually, it was more like shouting. He kept saying things like "Foreigners should be thrown out of our land!" and "We will take back our town!" He was spilling beer all over the place! Allyson kept giving me the eye as if to tell me I should go over and say something to him. I would have, but I didn't want to leave my beer unattended.

In the corner I saw I wasn't the only one watching this guy. That creepy butcher had his eyes glued to the shouting man. Then out of nowhere I heard someone yell "Shut the hell up!" and a bottle went flying through the air and all hell broke loose. Pretty much the entire bar just started to brawl, so I grabbed Allyson's hand (or did she grab mine?) and we ran for our lives!

I ran with her back to my place since it was nearby and she lives all the way on the other side of town. (Pretty smooth, eh?) We got back to my place, and I tried to hold her hand to comfort her, but she had her face buried in her hands. I settled for placing my arm on her shoulder. I didn't know what to say as she sat there. We spent the rest of the night like that. In the morning she said to me, "I can't stay here any longer. This isn't the life I want to live. I'm going to find my boyfriend and tell him to get us out of the country. I want to go home."

I tried to convince her to stay with me, that I would protect her, but she just left without saying another word. Tell me - is this normal behavior for a woman? Should I have followed her?

OK, Now I'm Scared 

Friday, January 23, 2009 -10:05 AM

I was awoken early this morning by some ruckus outside. (I really hate being woken up before my alarm clock goes off.) Kijuju is always noisy in the morning because everyone is usually up and about by the crack of dawn. I'll never understand that. This morning I didn't hear the usual hustle and bustle that always grates on my nerves in the morning. I heard shouting, angry shouting. I reluctantly got out of bed to see what all the fuss was about.

What I saw I don't think I'll ever forget. This was a hundred times more bone chilling than seeing that dead dog. There was a mass of people in the assembly place, and they were stacking these sacks of God-knows-what in the middle of it. I saw a black viscous substance oozing out of some of the sacks. It wasn't oil. Blood perhaps?

When the pile was about two meters high, that guy with sunglasses from the bar the other day came out and started speaking through a megaphone. I don't think "speaking" is the right word. It was like his words were fire and he was spitting them out. I couldn't make out what he was saying clearly (too many people shouting, not to mention my heart was beating in my ears), but I heard him spew out words like "justice" and "celebration of death." The hair on my neck stood on end every time I heard him say "death."

The crowd was riled up good, but then I saw them clear a path as a man carrying a torch made his way toward the pile. He set it alight and the whole mob burst into cheers. I never thought people cheering could fill me with so much dread. It made me shudder. As the fire consumed the pile, one of the sacks rolled off the top. The fire had eaten through the sack, and the thing inside it fell out. I couldn't make it out clearly, but it looked like the body of the butcher himself! Just what in the name of God's green Earth is going on around here!?

I quickly pulled my curtains shut and ran back to bed. I only worked up the nerve to write up this post after I was fairly certain the mob had dispersed. Needless to say, I won't be making an appearance at work today.

Lost Friends 

Friday, January 30, 2009 - 12:20 AM

I hadn't opened my curtains to look outside since I saw that crazy mob and their bonfire last week. It doesn't help that I keep hearing that man with the megaphone delivering venomous speeches to get the people riled. I wish someone would shut him up. Not me mind you. I'm not one to stir the pot.

Eventually my curiosity got the better of me, and I drew back the curtain just a smidge to look outside. This time I saw tons of people just milling about, almost twice or three times as many as last week! I didn't even know there were that many people living in this part of Kijuju to begin with. I don't think they're foreigners given Mr. Sunglasses' disdain for them, but God only knows where they've been hiding. I wasn't too focused on the individual faces in the crowd until I saw one that made me shout out in surprise: It was one of my old drinking buddies from work! I haven't seen him since he and some other guys were "transferred" to another work site. Every time I asked my boss about them, he just gave me the old runaround. Now I see one of them here of all places. I so wanted to open up my window and call out to him and say, "Hey, let's go get a drink - my treat!" but I didn't want all those other people tagging along.

At night the crowd dispersed so I thought I'd check out the old watering hole we all used to go to on the off chance that he or any of my other former drinking buddies would be there. The bar was in complete shambles. I had no idea that fight a couple weeks ago had completely demolished it. Now that I think about it, I heard that the owner had been killed during the melee. Poor guy. That's probably why the bar had been ransacked as well. There wasn't a thing left in there that wasn't broken. Every last bottle of alcohol had been cleaned out.

I turned around to go home. You know what they say: Never fall in love with a bar. I should have heeded that advice. Now I have no bar and no friends and no woman. Worst of all, I don't even have anything to drink.

As I started to walk away, my foot kicked something hard. I bent down to pick it up. It was my lucky day. I had stumbled upon an unopened bottle of whiskey! Today turned out to be better than I thought it would be. I'm sitting here enjoying the spoils of my little expedition. Anyone else drinking as they read this?

A Welcome Surprise

Friday, February 6, 2009 - 1:18 AM

There was a furious pounding at my door that gave me such a start I almost dropped my glass of whiskey. Thankfully my quick reflexes spared me from any unfortunate loss. I wasn't sure if I should open the door or not. I don't want to say that I feared for my life at this point, but given the general state of craziness in Kijuju, one can never be too careful. To be sure, I was wary of opening up the door, but my curiosity eventually got the better of me - again.

I couldn't believe my eyes when I opened the door. It was Allyson! She looked haggard, like she hadn't slept in a week, but I didn't care because she's still my princess. I hurried her into the room and sat her down and gave her a watered down whiskey to calm her nerves. I couldn't follow what she was saying exactly because I was happy just to have her back. To the best of my understanding she wasn't able to find her boyfriend, and that the hotel she was staying at came under attack by locals shouting anti-foreigner slogans. Some people were dragged into the street and disappeared into the sea of hands of an angry mob. What became of them is anyone's guess. Allyson was able to sneak away and she made a bee line for my place. Since I was born in this country she thought it'd be safer here than back at her hotel. I couldn't fault her logic, but even I don't feel safe here anymore.

Allyson's been staying with me ever since, so I can't say the current situation in Kijuju is all that bad. : ) Unfortunately, she gets jumpy every time that guy with the megaphone starts up with one of his rants. There's just no end to them. Every day more and more people come to listen to him. No, that's not true. They come to act like a drunken biker gang at a rock concert.

What is wrong with this place?

My World Is Crashing Down Around Me 

Friday, February 13, 2009 - 2:34 AM

For those of you keeping track, Allyson has been living with me for the past week. And while I should be dancing in the streets for joy, it's actually been just one nightmare after another. Everything you are about to read is true, as horrific as it may sound. And no, the fact that I'm making this post on Friday the 13th is not lost on me.

They were building some type of scaffolding/platform in the assembly place where the man with the sunglasses and megaphone delivers hate-filled tirades almost daily. I couldn't figure out what it was for until one day they dragged one of us up there. (When I say "they," I'm talking about anyone in Kijuju who has the crazed look of a rabid wolverine in their eyes. "Us" refers to anyone like me who still thinks, looks, and acts like a normal person, someone who is just confused by the madness gripping Kijuju.) That poor man; he struggled to free himself from the horde as they dragged him to the top of the scaffolding. Two men held him down at the top, and then the largest mountain of a man I've ever seen walks up out of nowhere carrying an ax the size of a small car! He had a black sack or hood covering his head, and just looking at him filled me with dread. I felt my legs go weak. I knew by the pit in my stomach what that ax was for. This was an execution. I turned away from the scene just as that giant beast started to swing his ax into the air. There was a moment of silence (maybe I imagined it), and then a hard THUD. I knew it was over when I heard the mob's wild shouts start up again. I looked back and saw the decapitated head roll down to the bottom of the scaffolding. At that point my legs gave out and I just collapsed on the floor. Allyson ran over to me. She tried to look outside to see what had given me such a fright, but I pulled her away from the window. There's no need for her to see that.

When I have dared to venture outside, usually after the mob in the square has dispersed, the only people I see are "them." They walk listlessly, without much vigor, but their eyes... their eyes are filled with what I can only describe as rage. They stare me down something fierce every time I pass them. I can feel them drilling holes into the back of my head. Everywhere I go, I know their eyes are on me. That's why I tell Allyson to stay indoors as much as possible. It's not safe for her.

The people are no longer the only oddities around here. Every other wall is covered with graffiti, usually the same one or two words written over and over again. Animal corpses that have been savagely ripped apart are so common that it's become impossible to walk without tripping over a rotting carcass. I'm pretty sure that some of the body parts I've seen were human, but I didn't want to get close enough to find out.

One day I saw someone being dragged behind a building. He was struggling to escape, but the man who was dragging him was too powerful. I half wanted to know what was going on, half wanted to just ignore it. Unfortunately, I couldn't leave well enough alone, so I carefully made my way toward the alley where the two men disappeared. When will I learn to stop letting my curiosity get the better of me? There was blood all over the walls and it looked like the stronger man was eating the weaker one. I'm not sure if that's what I saw, but it looked like his head was wrapped around the other man's. I just ran from there as fast as I could.

I saw a group of people kicking something in a large burlap sack, just like the ones that they set on fire a few weeks back. When I passed near them, they stopped kicking it and just stared me down. I could have sworn the sack was moving. Was there some kind of animal in there... or was it a human?

I also saw someone throw a human corpse down a well. Then there's this crazy guy running a food stall who just waved his carving knife around wildly. It looked like he was selling intestines or some paste-like substance. I almost vomited in my mouth when I saw it.

The weirdest thing I've laid eyes upon recently has to be the dog I saw with some leeches or tentacles on his face. I don't know if it was sick or had gotten infected by a parasite, but it was the strangest thing I've ever seen. When the dog looked at it me, it growled, and all the tentacles stood on end before it ran off. Don't ask me to explain it, because I don't know what it was.

As I type this they're dragging another one of us up the scaffolding. What the hell is wrong with this place!? What the hell is going on!? If there's anyone out there who can help me and Allyson, please come and save us! Anyone! Please hurry!

The Army Is Here 

Friday, February 20, 2009 - 9:47 PM

The army is here. I thought help was here at last, but all they did was hastily erect a wall to keep us all trapped inside this hellhole. They patrol the outside perimeter, automatic firearms in hand. They're not going to let us out. They have no problem with letting people into Kijuju, but anyone who even thinks about climbing over that wall... well, may they rest in peace. They're not here to help us; they're here to contain us. They hope they can just trap us inside and watch us destroy ourselves.

I can't even look outside my window anymore, let alone bring up the courage to venture outside. I still know what's going on. I know because the blood-curdling screams of victims being murdered ring in my ears every day. Then I hear the cheers of that wild mob, and I know another one of us - a human - has been lost. I try to block out those sounds, the kind where you know flesh is being ripped apart and bones are being crushed. They chill me to the very core!

And the army doesn't do a damn thing. They just stand guard outside their wall hoping we stop being a problem for them. I can't trust the government anymore.

Please, if you're reading this, don't give me any more advice. Help me! Tell anyone you know who works for a newspaper or something to report on the madness here. You have to get the word out! If you know someone who has a friend who works for some government agency, tell them! Let them know that there are still good people in Kijuju - people who need to be rescued! We need help now! Send the army, the air force, or even N.A.S.A.! Please, if you've ever felt anything for your fellow man, now is the time to act! Please!

I'd Drink... If I Could Find a Bar 

Friday, February 27, 2009 - 2:15 AM

I woke up this morning to find that Allyson wasn't lying next to me. I thought she might have ventured out to see if she could find some food or something. I was angry that she would have been so stupid to go outside. Then I noticed a note addressed to me sitting on my keyboard. It was from her. She said she's gotten fed up with me just sitting at my computer. She can't stand being cooped up in here not doing anything, and she can no longer stand the fact that I'm not trying to help us get out of here. That's not true though! I've been looking up important information and trying to find someone to help us. It's not like I'm sitting around all day reading celebrity gossip! I want to tell her that so she'll understand.

I should've told her that.

It's too late for regrets. She's gone now, probably off to find a way out of Kijuju. Now that I think about it, she kept asking me about the mine and any underground passages it might have. I told her everything she wanted to know, not questioning why she wanted me to tell her about that stuff. Things had been tense lately, and we've been arguing a lot, so I was happy just to have a night without any fighting. I had no clue she was going to do something like this...

Why would she leave me? She was safe here. I was here. She was better off here with me, but now she's out there on her own. I want to go out and find her - bring her back. I'm torn. I want to go and find her, but I can't bring myself to go outside. I know I'll be killed if I do. I hate myself for giving in to my fears, but my fear is stronger than any sadness. I pray that she makes it back to me OK. It's all I can do.

If there's anyone out there that can help her, please, do it! Tell her to come back to me! I will protect her.

Help at Last!

Friday, March 6, 2009 - 2:07 AM

I heard another man being dragged up the scaffolding to meet his death today. It'd become so commonplace that I learned to just cover my ears to block out the curses of the doomed men whenever it happened. Even with my ears covered, I could still feel the thud as the ax robs one more individual of life. And the cheers of the crowds continued to fill me with fear and dread. I might have said a prayer in my heart for this poor man (at least I thought I did), but I didn't give him anymore thought. I couldn't believe how numb I'd become to it now. Another day, another execution. Or so I thought.

This time didn't end with the cheers of the mob. Instead I heard gunshots. Confused by this, I carefully drew back one of the curtains to see what was happening outside. (I did this at a great risk to my own life, mind you.) I saw a man and a woman inside an adjacent building surrounded by that mob. I thought they were goners for sure, but then I noticed that they were the ones holding guns. It must have been them that fired those shots! The two of them worked as a team as they ran into the square and took out as many of those crazies as they could. I should have been shocked to see more death, but I think I was more shocked just by the presence of those two.

While I was watching them, I heard a helicopter come out of nowhere and fire a missile at a huge steel gate. The shockwaves rocked my house like an earthquake. I don't think anyone near the blast could have survived. When I looked out of my window again, I saw that everyone except that man and woman had disappeared. I guess they're afraid of missiles.

It looked as if things had calmed down, so I grabbed my binoculars to get a better look at these two crazy people. I mean you have to be crazy to think you can take on thousands of people acting like rabid dogs! The woman looked like she was from around here. She was wearing sporty clothes, and she had a gun belt and a large knife. It looked like she knew how to use them. The man was wearing similar clothes, but underneath his gun belt he wore a shirt that looked like some kind of uniform. He looked pretty beefy, like an 80s action movie star. I saw he had a badge on his sleeve that said BSAA. When I saw that badge, so many things just fell into place for me. To the best of my knowledge BSAA only gets involved in situations dealing with bioterrorism. I bet you somebody unleashed a virus or something to make everyone start acting so out of control. It could be like a super version of mad cow disease.

Whatever it really is, I'm sure the BSAA brought some vaccines to help everyone. Thank God for that. I also hope they brought some whiskey with them, because I haven't had a drink in forever. Wouldn't mind sharing a drink or two with that cute female BSAA agent either. I'm sure she knows a few good moves.

At any rate, I'm going to be OK! Thanks to everyone out there who got the word out. Now I can go back to writing about the important things - booze and babes!

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